#TBT

Where do I begin? It seems like starting with an apology would be too little too late but nonetheless I'll get it out of the way, I'm sorry I haven't written since September of-last-year. I'll be realistic, few of my readers will really mind but I'm apologising to my past self, I've let her down on this one.

But you know how it goes, new year new you. One of my resolutions this year is to keep my blog up because it's my own little space and I love looking back on my attempts at photography, memories and hilarious posing. I hope you do too.

2016 sounds like a whirlwind and I don't think there's any way in which I can prep myself for it other than have absolutely no expectations at all. Will I manage to get a first in my exams? Will I find a summer job? Will I like my year abroad? Will the French like me (lol)? Where will I travel? Who will I meet along the way? Who will be my friends throughout? For anyone who knows me, I'm a total control freak, even if I do try to disguise it, and not knowing where my life is going is kinda keeping me up at night but at the same time I really can't let that get to me because I will turn grey in a matter of months - yes yes I found a grey hair and it's made me freak out...

What's not so scary is looking at the past because what's done is done and doesn't that sound comforting amidst a sea of uncertainty? Sorry, I'll stop using rhetorical questions now. This one's to 2015, to a strange but beautiful year...

Dear 2015,

You should have told me you were coming. Honestly, just dropping bombs left right and centre (I hope that's the correct saying) is not ok! You've been tough at times, when my Italian professor nearly made me cry as did the thought of having to wait a few months for the second Outlander series but you've also been pretty generous. 

One things that's been a running theme is love. I first fell in love with Florence. I struggle to put in words what I feel when I remember my 10 days there last March - it was magical to say the least. Something about it just stole my heart and ran away with it. Maybe it was the art, the friendly people, the endless stream of gelato flavours, the misty river on a warm morning, jogging on the cobbled streets of the Oltrarno, meeting Nicole from VIAJIYU, wondering the streets with Isabel at night and falling asleep to FKA Twiggs - Florence was such a distinctive experience for me that I know in my heart I will need to return and give this love affair a proper go. I then feel in love with my best friend which is also pretty convenient as it is romantic. Coincidentally that also started in Florence. For someone as independent, stubborn and -let's face it- difficult as me, it didn't seem like a likelihood but life is funny like that and likes to surprise you. Almost 9 months later, I'm happier than I've ever been and even happier I can share that with someone. To a lesser extent obvi, I've rekindled my love for drawing one lazy summer day when I was out of ideas for a present. It just so happened that I picked up a paint brush and started putting odd splodges of colour that later turned out all right - now whenever I'm stressed I just draw flower wreaths in watercolour and life is all good again in my little pastel bubble. 

Hedgehogs. Need I mention more? I started off in 2015 loving them and I ended it borderline obsessed. How can you not I mean look at it's little nose!! My room now counts over 20 hedgehog items from a giant stuffed one to slippers to a kitchen timer that we never use for the purpose it was created, just that it looks cute...

2015 was also about travel - quite a lot of it. I went to Budapest a few times to visit my dad who lived there for the year and I had a lot of fun and good food. Like the rose shaped ice cream and apple strudel and amazing duck on cabbage and the list could go on and on! Tenerife was a milestone since it's the furthest I've ever been from Europe and hopefully that will change soon. I had been wanting to go for absolutely ages and it was a wonderful holiday - we saw dolphins and whales and hedgehogs and black beaches and climbed a volcano and it was all rather amazing. Following that was Mykonos with uni friends and that was where I drove for the first time. It was a quad, yes, but still so much fun. We had fits of laughter swimming in the cold clear sea and befriending the giant pink pelican of Mykonos town and going to every single whitewashed chapel on the island to take photos. We also flipped a quad and one of our friends had to pay and extortionate amount of money, I cracked my phone screen to the point I thought it will never be replaced and I got some odd illness which meant I had to be in hospital for 3 days right before coming back to uni - all good fun as you can see. But it was such a life lesson because I was so hung up on everything going wrongly that I was almost making myself more ill and the sad reality is that things won't always go my way and that's just how it is. You adapt or you drown. Sounds rather dramatic but it's the way I saw it at the time and frankly I feel I grew up mentally a bit there. 

Last but definitely not least, my friends. They were with me from beginning to end. To my best friend Diana who is an inspiration, the girl has such direction with her life it almost scares me. To my roommate Diane (I see a trend hehe) who is the biggest help and the most classy girl, we have such a harmonious little bubble to call home in Cambridge and it's all down to you so thank you. To Grace and her impressive career as a novice rower - no one saw it coming - and to her sharing a 20 hour coach ride from Varsity ski trip with me :P. To Mina's comforting baking on a Saturday morning and our trips to Victoria's Secret in London. To Ben's overwhelming enthusiasm and positivity, it really gets me through the rainy days haha. To Jasneet aka the friendliest of human beings, great friend and Instagram mentor. To Connie's revolutionary bacon and avocado bagels and - may this May Ball be the bomb. And to everyone else whose kind words, funny emojis, coffee breaks and hugs I've shared; looking back I have such amazing friends and I think they really need to hear it more often which is what I intend to do in the new year. 

I'll stop now before I end up submitting an autobiography manuscript and really who has the time and patience to read that. 2015, I'm so grateful for you but I'm also glad you're gone because I can't wait to meet 2016. I hope you all have a great new year and make the most of it!